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One thing.
One.
Only one thing brought me here.
One thing brought the tears.
One thing brought the self hatred.
One thing brought the world around to a shattering halt of high pitched sounds and bright lights.
He hated those, didn’t he? Loud noises? Well, I hate him.
I hate him.
He hates me.
I have every right to hate him.
Every.
Right.
But... no...
I can’t even listen to myself.
What has this world come to, when parts of my brain are so disconnected, so lacking?
I should hate him.
I told him I loved him.
He told me he hated me.
I.
Hate.
Him.
I.
HATE.
HIM.
COME ON.
LISTEN TO ME.
Please...
Just...
Just this once.
Just this once don’t hate me.
Just this once don’t mind me.
Just this once love me.
It’s too late. I’m too late. I was too late.
The bow is still around my neck, but it feels so different, so restricting...
The tears, they are different tears from my younger days... so violent...
The loved kindling hatred brought me here.
Let me just spread my arms, now... I can feel the wind of my face...
Just...




jump.
Yay, depressing stuff! Sorry, but I've been reading Bittersweet Candy Bowl ( www.bittersweetcandybowl.com/c… ) and... well... ehhh... Had to write this, okay? I don't think she even jumps(we never get to know what happens exactly) but I just decided to say she did because I don't know exactly what happens. So enjoy this weird thing, whatever it is. I don't think it's poetry, but it sorta seems like it. You tell me, since I'm not sure. 

I actually wrote something for the first time in a few days!
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:iconlieutenant-america:
Lieutenant-America Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My personal headcanon is that she went for the wrists with a razor. Mostly because of that one comic by Chinatsu, the one set to Florence and the Machine (the image certainly burned itself into my head).

Interesting little prose here regardless, very tragic very morbid. Still awaiting the eventually confrontation in the comic (hopefully with a reconciliation).
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Student Writer
Wow, creepy. Then again, suicide isn't exactly a happy joys occasion. 

Thank you :D I don't this is really any of my best writing at all, but it was interesting, and I sorta felt like I had to write it. Inspiration comes at the strangest times. And same... it's really killing me. Luccccyyyyyyyy... 
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:iconlieutenant-america:
Lieutenant-America Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The best narrations are always those of dubious mental stability. A bit of a morbid fact, but there you go. And believe me, the wait's killing me too.

The recent Ask Roseville High post certainly hasn't helped things.
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:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
To me, this was like half of your mind fighting with the other half.
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Writer
Yeah, pretty much. There's a side of her that still loves him, and a side that hates him. 
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:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
yeah
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:iconiepet12:
iepet12 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Love it!!!! Depressing stuff really shows the face of reality(not to say I hate happy stuff)
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! And yeah :D I was also lacking inspiration, so I turned to this :3 Happy stuff just takes so many more words :'p 
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:iconiepet12:
iepet12 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!!!! Ha, I hate when I don't have any inspiration, and ha!!! I know, right?!
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:icondustarinick:
DustArinick Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Jeez. what the heck have you been reading? 
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Student Writer
A depressing webcomic. Well, it was actually not very depressing at the beginning, but then High School struck No, I disagree! 
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:icondustarinick:
DustArinick Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Remind me to introduce you to one of my other little sisters. You two would get along fine. 
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Student Writer
Sure. I'm reminding you this second XD 
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:icondustarinick:
DustArinick Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, that's very useful XD
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student Writer
No problem Thank you! Thank you! 

(but really, when am I supposed to remind you?) 
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:icondustarinick:
DustArinick Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It was a joke. but if you really want to meet them, I'll arrange it XD
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Edited Aug 8, 2014  Student Writer
Ohhh I thought you meant on here. Not IRL xD Probably not going to happen, in that case. 
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(1 Reply)
:iconlyletherooster:
LyletheRooster Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
One shouldn't commit suicide over just one thing, especially if it happens to be one's love interest. We'll one of course shouldn't commit suicide at all.

The moral of the story is, don't tell insecure people that you hat them, and don't let someone's rudeness cause you to commit suicide over it.

Technically it wasn't too late for him or her to not commit suicide because he or she hadn't jumped just yet at that point in the poem.

If whoever made him or her jump, happened to come in the nick of time to save him or her from committing suicide, that person wouldn't start loving him or her all of a sudden. Suicide doesn't solve anything.

Sorry about over-analyzing your poem. It's a habit of mine to ruin things by over-analyzing them.
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student Writer
Yeah. Well, it was sorta a downward spiral. And he had been her best friend since age five. Plus he said some other really, really nasty things to her and she had already been feeling bad. I'm not saying she had any right to try, but it wasn't over nothing... Though, she didn't die, luckily. Still don't know what happened to her, since she hasn't appeared in the story again yet :'p 

And it's okay! I don't find it ruined, since I think this poem/story/whatever isn't saying suicide is good. If anything, it's saying it's bad, I guess... 
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:iconlyletherooster:
LyletheRooster Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh yeah, I didn't think you were supporting anything like that!

Second moral of the story: If your friend becomes a jerk, abandon them forever and don't commit suicide over it.

Third moral of the story: If you almost commit suicide, don't disappear from the story because people will get worried.
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:iconsorcaron:
Sorcaron Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014   Digital Artist
:giggle: Seems like a song to me, but I can't write poetry, so I don't know how it would work as a song either. XP
That, or I've been listening to FICTION by BEAST and actually looking at the lyrics for once (I was trying to figure out if they were somehow Kai-appropriate).

Either way, kinda reads like a song. :la: I presume that your lack of spaces between lines was intentional; I would have put some in there to break it up more, but maybe you left it like that on purpose. :shrug:

It's okay. I never feel like writing after a Nanowrimo.
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:iconporsheee:
Porsheee Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student Writer
I'd try singing it out, but I don't sing I am a dummy!  (Though one of my friends asked me to join her choir recently. I just told her she's never heard me sing, and it'll be lucky if she never has to xD But... when everyone's gone... >:3) 
Hehe yeah, I normally don't find the lyrics either unless I really want to. Oh, I remember that song! It's the one with the really loud pen in the video! Ahh, the days... *goes off into a daydream about Middle School* And I guess the song fits for Kai. Especially the beginning, I think. The only big difference is that the song is talking about distance mentally, when with Kai it's both mentally and physically.

Yeah. It might've been good to do that, but I'm still not totally used to it Sweating a little...  Plus, it'd be less noticeable that the "jump" is so far apart from everything else. Idk. 

I'd say that too, except I've only done it once so I can't be sure. But I'm not feeling like writing much, and definitely not anything long... 
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:iconsorcaron:
Sorcaron Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014   Digital Artist
You don't sing like Alan doesn't sing? He's tone deaf. Or you just don't sing? like... I don't sing??? idk. I don't usually sing when other ppl are singing because I feel like they're singing so much better maybe? That, or I'm slightly embarrassed by how low my voice is =3=
Same here. (Oh, the scratchy pen? XD)
Hmm, I suppose. I guess "I still can’t forget you / I still can’t trust everything / ... / For now I will bury fact that reality is seeping into my skin" would kind of fit. Overall, I guess it might be a bit too depressing for Çaito, but we can pull elements from it. xD;;


It's okay for 'jump' to be far apart I think. I'm just saying that I would add break lines to emphasize pauses (if any). Like I said, I don't know how poetry works. XD

Well, I sure as heck don't feel like drawing anything after I've done something big. xD Gotta take a break. :lmao:
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